so, it could have been 4 months today. but instead, you chose to be the real end.

i had a hope of we being fantastic together. not just good or great, but fantastic.

but now, i don’t have you.

i’m alone again. and this time, hurts like it’s never hurted before.

the kylie minogue concert. singing (screming) “love at first sight” for you. kissing during that song. watching amazing fireworks at the end of the concert. waking up by your side for more than 5 wonderful days. travelling together through our country, from yout town to mine. looking at you driving with your sunglases. watching you sleep. caressing your skin. making love. watching your beautiful white teeth when you laughted. your smile. your piercings. your smell. planning a life together. making you laugh, making you cry. your eyes. giving you a foot massage. shopping together. you cooking, me just watching. our senseless conversations. drnking beer and watching the city from above together. swimming together. me crying while you held me. dreaming together. talking in your car in front of my apartment about our kids. giving you a surprise visit at work. helping you finish a work-related task. you at my office while i succeded after a month of bad luck at work. eating togther. feeling the wonder when i saw you everyday like it was the first time of my life. feeling butterflies on my stomach, in ache of just watching you. me meeting your family. being by your side while you were sad mourning for someone close to your family. getting drunk together. fall asleep after making love.  road trip together. me asking you to be my boyfriend. on a miniboat together. making you laugh. meeting for the first time.

it was love.

we did so many things. and SO many thing were left undone.

we could have been fantastic together.

i can’t stop loving you. but looks like you already did.

you call it an end. you’re not confortable with me. with my foul mouth, with me being so loud. with me being so ”unproper”…

you were the one. and it breaks my heat that i was so FUCKING SURE i was the one for you. i was so sure you loved me with all my faults. and at the end, it wasn’t true. you can’t stand me, the whole package. it breaks my heart it’s over.

i would have stayed with you in the bad times, in the good times, while sick or healthy. i would have learned to cook. i could have been the one to make you happy.

you are(were) the one for me. but it wasn’t true. you didn’t love me at all.

at the end it was me the one to ask you to be my boyfriend.

at the end it was me the one to say ‘i love you’ first.

i would have fought for you.

i could have waited for you longer.

but you just want it to be over. because you can’t stand me. you’re ashamed of me.

i was proud of you. honored to be with you. i talked about you all the time. i felt alive and happy and loved for the first time in my life.

now. i’m alone. you’re gone.

we could have been fantastic together.

i have no doubt.

i’m brokenhearted.  but like a friend said, my heart is broken but i still love you with every fallen piece of it.

please be happy. please be happy.

i love you.

for every tear i shed, is a wish for you to be happy

without me, please be happy.

by yourself or with someone else. please be happy.

please just keep smiling because your smile shines the whole fucking world.

i love you.

even if you left me broken and empty, even if you broke my heart 20 times. i love you.

please be happy.