So. he broke up with me. Last Thursday, 20 of november.

i’m still in shock. like i cried the night he broke up with me, but i’ve been peaceful since then. i guess it’s the shock. knowing myself i’ll get through another phases i’ll later document here LOL. but right now i’m numb. i obviously think about him a lot. it’s hard to be out in the street because every car i see is either Red (like his) or it’s a Renault Logan (like his)… and it’s amazing how many cars out there can pass by in the same minute that remind me of him

Anyway, last night we talked. again. he sorta invited me out. i said no, and once and for all i kinda ended it. i asked him if he wanted me to fight for him. to make him fall in love with me again. he said i would probably succed but he wasn’t sure it wasn’t what he needed/wanted. so i told him i needed space. not like he’s hurting me right now, i’ve been good being the “friend” but i’m sure that as soon as i get over to a new Phase, i’ll be hurt a lot.

so i blocked him out of my msn messenger, facebook, twitter, everywhere! because i really don’t want to know about him. not because i don’t care, but because i’m sure that as soon as i find out he’s doing so good without me i’m gonna suffer. a lot.

so i don’t know when am i gonna move to another phase of this breakup. i’m surprised with myself of how good i’m doing. maybe it’s because i was already depressed before he left me, so i’m doing good. or maybe it’s just experience showing off. i don’t know.

so that’s all i have to say. i’ll miss him. i still think he’s the one for me. but all this problem shows i’m not the one for him. he still needs a lot to learn about himself. i feared this from the begining but i quickly forgot because i was so in love and enjoying the perfect-ness of it all. but yeah, i know. he needs to move from his parents house. he needs to live alone for a loooong time. he needs to know that. maybe he needs more relationships, fuck more girls, i don’t know, he needs to live more, to be ready to share his life with someone else. i think he’s very close to it, he seemed so ready, maybe he is! maybe i’m not just the right one!

anyway. lesson learned: … you can find the perfect guy in a wrong timing. still when you think is the best timing, my bad mood (in general, my mood changes) can prove him wrong. I’m not meant to be with someone else. and, the most amazing lesson is: …           <write lesson here as soon as i feel something>

over andn out