so

life is ok. i love my boyfriend and he loves me back. i had a little crisis last friday. depression kicking in, but i guess it’s caused for not-well-handled pressure at work.

I’m really living under a lot of pressure and most people don’t understand it. i guess we all do, but i’ve never been under this pressure before.

the cruel thing is that it’s self-imposed pressure. people at work are ok, i mean, i can handle them, sometimes… but it’s my own brain the one that’s bugging me.

so i’m gonna try to follow some basic tips i’ve read online to try to stay cool.

what’s been really helping me is my dear love. he’s been patient, he’s been sweet and caring, the perfect guy!!

i’ve been scared to hurt him during my crisis, but he stood strong. i tried to push him away, and he fought his way back to me. he’s really wonderful, i hope his strenght last for a long long time, because i can’t control myself.

i know i have to, i have to learn not to push him away, because he’s the man of my dreams and he future father of my kids hehehe, he’s the best.

it’s funny how life seems so short and then so long. i see into his eyes and we talk about the future we want to build together, and i enjoy this moment so much but sometimes i just want to rush the future and live this wonderful dreams, get married, have kids be happy forever… it’s crazy, how i want it to come fast sometimes, i can’t wait to live this plans.

i know i shouldn’t rush it, i know i have to live the moment at the fullest. i know we have to plan other things so we won’t regret later our desitions…. but still.

sounds crazy and i’ve never felt like that before, and it’s sweet because i know he feels the same way about me.

we have all this things around us that makes everything so complicated, but we don’t really care.

he says i’m a gift from god. he’s the one that saved my life, he’s the one that found me when i gave up the hope to be happy. how could i ever forget this love? how could i ever forget these feelings he makes me feel? i’m scared my brain washes it all away in the future, but i hope that it sticks with me. because i want to. i want to remember forever this feeling. i want to.

over and out