i found his picture by accident.

i was already feeling bad because i’m so broke i don’t even have to get food.

the ants ate my breakfast. lol

sounds funny but it’s real.

found his picture and felt bad. like missing something. guess what? his lips. his eyes. the way he looked at me.

and i guess it’s all in my mind. i’m brokenhearted over an imaginary love. something never existed. or did it? anyway, it over. buried. and i’m left alone. broken and sad.

and here i am, wanting to be dead. because i wonder if it’s all in my mind. if i like misery? if i sabotage myself over and over again. if i like to be victim. if i like to be miserable.

i’ve been told that before. i see my parents and that’s how they act. they blame their misery on everyone else but themselves.

i’m just the same. and even knowing it, i have no strength to change it. i just want to die.

please God. give someone that diserves it another day and take away mines. do something useful with this space i’m wasting. this air i breath. the food i eat. the looks i get. if you want it take one by one painfully so i have great amount of suffering. or just take it so i wont be the star of the misery no more. but finish it. take my life. please.