quit love.
June 18th, 2007 by 
maclau
so.
everything is over now.
i’m alone. i want to rip my heart off my body, and stop this crazy thing called feelings. i know it’s all in my brain. i can take control of it. i can stop feeling. i want to go absolutelly and permanently numb.
i hurt people and people hurt me.
it was written a long time ago, by the life i inherited from my parents, that i am meant to be alone and die alone. i could make the terrible mistake to procrate and make this damnation go on for more years. but since i cannot take my life away, i won’t heir it. i won’t make it any longer.
i’m just this thing to be used by any other beings for sexual meaning. but never to procreate.
i will be happy and ok with the simple things i still can enjoy. but i give up love. i quit. no more for me.
even though my pathetic innerself dies for love, i have to quit. i have to stop wanting that. i have to stop pretending there’s something like that in the world.
so, for whatever is left of this life, i won’t feel anymore.
Posted in Personal |
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June 30th, 2007 at 1:41 am
El Insomnio:
En el insomnio te pienso, miro tu video una y otra vez…. No todo en este mundo miserable esta perdido, existe alguien como yo; alguien como nosotros que encuentran frente a frente sus verdades, se miran, se reflejan en las retinas mientras recorren el camino asfixiante de la rutina diaria.
Y sigue la noche, un solo espacio negro y profundo cortado por las inertes estrellas. Todo es un simple fondo de pantalla al otro lado de la ventana; pasa un avión, un ave… tus ojos… la soledad que se aleja por un instante y vuelve cuando amanece. Me doy cuenta que todo sigue igual, la misma masa cerebral pensando en los problemas aquellos que solo me dejan tiempo para sobrevivir y comer como cualquier animal sin conciencia.
Solo querÃa compartirte un recorte de mi insomnio. Gracias por acompañarme hoy, en tus videos, en mis recuerdos.