sexy?
Originally uploaded by maclau.

so, i changed my hairdo, i felt sexy, i felt goofy, so i took these photos with my webcam… and looks like they ended up good!
Enjoy!

the other day i had a realization. don’t call me stupid for noticing that so lately… ok yeah call me stupid.

i realiced my problem with love is, that basically i ask for someone to love me the way i was taught that i should love God.

I mean. I think love is many many things, and one of those basical things is sacrifice. i mean, i think love someone is to be ready to do whatever it takes for that person, even give your life for that someone. and of course, sweet love is getting the same attention back.

but i find most men -or human being- find this so stupid. someone told me is ‘obsessive’.
Then i came and realized, the god they taught me to love is the god that sacrificed his life for us bla bla bla, you know the rest.

the funny thing is, sometimes i think ‘didn’t have to do it, i don’t want your sacrifice’ so…. what does it all mean?

and the smartest conclusion i can get -and don’t blame me if it’s too lame- is that love is taught on kids, just the way you teach everything else. and basically, i never was taught that… ok i did, through my father’s experience with his own father, through my mother complete life as a mother, through religion… everything… i’ve been taught that love is sacrifice… and now i realice,,, that i’ve never been shown love as happiness…

so this kinda explains why my life is a mess.

is this progress??