life’s over

i want some rest

everyone hurts me. i hurt everyone around me.

the sweet prince had a fun fuck yesterday with someone else. am i supposed to accept it? am i supposed to live with it?

 once? twice? how many times more?

well i can’t.

i was born to be alone. the person i want for me does not exist. it’s only in my imagination. there’s no one in this world that would die for me. that would make me feel loved, that would make me feel cared and protected, yet stronger and worthfull.

and that person does not exist because i’m not someone strong or worth for anyone to love… i’m not good

i’m this scum bag wasting the world’s water and air. i should be dead. i want to be dead. what can i do about it? i’m not even able to kill myself. i suck completelly.

but do i suck like to be with someone while he’s fucking around whatever person ??? maybe in my pathetic instinc to survive there’s a little to survive with dignity…. maybe….

whatever. i want to be dead. now.

 and here i am. just like the person i hate the most in the world. choosing to be alone in the world, just like my father.

oh, please kill me now.