is anyone out there?

i want to die, why can’t i die?
i cannot believe anything. no happiness is real.

happy fucking valentine’s day.

like always i’m alone.

i deserve to be alone, because i’m nothing but a piece of trash.
i have a future husband that all he likes about me is my sexuality. i can’t blame him. is all a have. i’m no use in this world but that.

i’m so useless.

no hope

dying.

so

got insulted at home. AGAIN.

but this time has been different, i mean the after everything. a New friend told me something that really really touched my heart, was deep in meaning and truth.

My father said, he keep feeling dissapointed at me, more and more everytime.

and my friend told me something about who should feel disapponted? he or me? he reminded me that he is a guy, getting old, nothing to die on, not a family, no friends, no money, no work, no success (nothing more than he thinks for himself, to him, he’s god!)… and hell, my friend is right, i mean, i should be the one disappointed.

I’m diappointed he’s not the father i needed. i don’t care about his career or money, even when he can’t even help his own wife or give her a good life. I’m disappointed because he never loved me or made me a strong person. a sufficient self steem.

anyway, got interrupted writing this so its over.

love for valentines!