so

let’s talk about it.

I’ve got flu. I have boyfriend no more. My work is ok. I got an iPod and tons of Nivea products.

What can i say. Love is rather a thing. IS it real? i think it’s not.
Is it weakness? is it boredoom? is a creatio of our mind?

what is it? is it something real but that we try to create while we get there?

the thing about the love for me, is not the what. but the when. why before and not now. why now and not later. why later and not before.

when love?

is it a state? why is different for everyone. but kindness is not. why is love different but pain is not.

why am i just fed up of everything?
i the not depressing way of what i am?. If i’m not depressed the i just feel fed up, if i’m depressed i just feel like i wanna die? But is that escentially me?

i never thought of what i could find out of myself after depression. now i’m starting to get scared. Is this new me a better one, or a worse one?
was maclau a better person before when she was depressed and down?

so what’s coming up? dating someone else… i’m not really interested.
what do i want? just a me-me world?

when did i became this selfish bitch? is it something about someone or just the natural way of growing up?

who knows. who cares. me neither.