so.

life fucking sucks.

like always.

what can i say. there’s no way out. there’s no way to run away from what makes you unhappy. it will follow you around, no matter where you try to hide, it will follow you.

you can change your name, you can change your blood. but it will always follow you

today i;ve heard the truth. i’m sick. i always knew. but i thought i would get better. i thought  my depression will go away and i would be a better person. a normal one.

but today i’ve realiced, that i’m absolutelly sick. i’m not someone normal. i’m sick. i’m a hateful so imperfect and sick person.

i have no common sence. i haven’t grow up. i’m sucha a bitch that i see myself as the victim. but i’m sick. my mind made it all up. i still feel like a victim. and it’s fake. my mind made it up. i’m sick.

i’ve had the most wonderful family in the world. my parents love me. and i’ve always looked for a way to feel like they don’t. i’m a sick person. my brain is damaged. my mind is damaged. my soul is a waste. no longer able to get in heaven.. i’m sick

i do not deserve the rest in death. i will go to hell.i do not deserve to be happy. i do not deserve to be good. i don’t because. i’m sick, and ive made myself unhappy. i do it every time.

i’m unhappy because that’s what i make for myself

i have to be isolated from everyone. i have to be recluted in a mental institution. i can’t live in society. i hurt. i hurt because i’m sick.

this is one of those fight club moments, when you realize that you’re the insane one, and you’ve brought so many peple in you insane world and you are to blame for they un happy lifes.

i’m writing it down, i cannot convine myself completelly because i will always feel like a victim. i will manipulate always everything. i just writing it, so maybe i get used to the idea, athat i’ve been so wrong always and maybe someday i would find help with a psyquiatrist or whatever.

i made you all believe i’m unhappy because someone else. and i’m unhappy because of myself. please stop this. please stop it now. kill my brain. kill this pain.