that night at that tree it was doomed but we didn’t know.

we had no clue that we were spending our last hours together.
and ever since then i have regreted taking that time away from your wife and your kids, and stole it like so many things, like that kiss, like you life…

its a burden that goes with me wherever i go, even now, when the storm is over, when i earned a new life, it’s still with me.

sometimes i still wake up, with that bitter taste in my mouth of living and smiling, knowing that you’re no longer with your family, and enjoying your life and saving so many others lives… all because of me…

I think Jack knows, and he always wake me up touching my arms ever so tenderly, trying to wip away my pain… i look into his eyes, and there’s hope. there’s this calm, soft and sweet feeling, true pure love, beyond everything that can stand between us, he’s just loving this part of me that i bet it’s all the life you let in me, all the joy you gave me once, and all that brings me to life every morning…. looking for redemption…

What Jack doesn’t know, is that i still wake up in the night to watch him sleep, and fear fills me and makes me cold to death… i watch him breath so peacefully in and out. every breath cuts me into pieces of fear, scared of not watching his chest raise up and down anymore… he’s my doctor, my savior and my lover… just like you were, and i fear it would end up in a tragedy again.

Maybe, just maybe someday, i will be able to find the strenght to see what you and destiny want to show me with this… maybe, just maybe.