wow. had a wonderful day yesterday.

and i feel many thing about it.

one of those is security. i feel proud that i acted so secure, and when i felt vulnerable, i let it out, i said ‘i feel sensitive/vulnerable right now talking to you about…’ so, that makes me proud, to let out feelings and not feeling stupid about it. But then i felt secure. i lied down on his bed and felt so secure… not that shame and embarrass i felt the first time i was near a bed with H. Yesterday i felt so secure, so safe. no… not ashamed of my body, even if i still think it’s ugly. yesterday i felt good.

and i’m sure that’s something about me, and something about the person you’re with, that helps you feel sexy and beautiful.

 

he said many things about me and my body that i’ve heard before, really… manly reactions that i’ve seen before… i guess that helps too to feel ok. like; if 3 different people have said to me before that my body is pretty and my face too… hell i’m gonna start to believe it.

 

and so i felt good. and now i’m still feeling good. it’s not like i’m in love, it’s more like i’m happy with myselft and how someone else made me feel about myself, and how much i like this guy. how i absolute love the way i met him, and how we ended up like this without planning, not even thinking about it… absolute surprise… like he said ‘wonderful surprise’