i feel out of control.

just 2 days without my medication and i already got a crisis.

it all started last night. but helll i just took my pill and i hope i’ll get to be myself again soon.

 

right now i’m mad. i’m really mad.

i had a middly good day yesterday, and in the night, i got this virtual sex episode. i had 2 guys wanting me bad… and all i was doing is trying to get  HIM to notice me, to want me, to need be as bad.

what a jerk. he gave me this sweet lesson of how to behave, like i’m this little 15 years old stupid girl that knows nothing about love and live. well then f*ck off.

 

you don’t know a shit about my heart. you don’t know a sh*t about how i feel. you have no idea what goes through my mind. man, my life is mess, i don’t know about what i want for my life, but the helll that the only clear things in my life is my feelings.

 

so, now what i am. a rejected b*tch. that should take out her dildo and start thinking about her feelings. right? i’m a stupid little brat that does not know the difference between sex and love. right? you know what i am for sure? a pretty stupid girl, the most idiot one, that could fell for someone like you. a stupid asshole that wanted to get to know you like noone else. that wanted to share so much with you. the real you.

 

but you know what, f*ck off. i’ll got over this as quickly as i have done before. and thanks, for not letting me make the same mistake i did with hugo, waste my time and efforts and feelings, on someone so unable to see what’s right in front of your eyes. so unable to realize that i was so willing to do anything. f*ck off.

 

f*ck men, i’m tired of your stupid brains, and constricted feelings.