well, i was already trying to sleep and got this crisis, and i need to let it out.

no one is online to talk to… so there’s nothing left but this space and me.

 

i forgot.

 

i forgot the shape of his eyes. i forgot the shape of his nose. i forgot how does his hands felt in mine. i forgot how he combed his hair. i forgot… i think i never looked at his ears clearly. i don’t remember his ears.i can’t remember his voice. i can’t remember how he laughed.i can’t remember how he looked when he drove his car. i forgot his smell. i forgot how he looked on his graduation. i can’t remember his arms.

it’s gone. i fucking hate my brain. because i just can’t i can’t remember, and i want to. i want to be able to bring whatever memory i want… i just can’t/ i need to remember…. why worth living if you can’t remember those things.

 

it’s been a month. and i can’t remember.i would give anything to remember. to have those moments with him vivid in my brain. but i can’t. and right now, it’s hurting the hell out of me. does that mean something? or is just my disfunctional brain?

 

i need my memories, why can’t i have them?

 

people say that the memories are the worst thing that haunt them when trying to got over someone… but what is really killing me right now, is that i can’t remember him. i have no pictures to look at. i have nothing to hold on to. he’s something in my life that happened, and is being vanished… and i don’t want to forget. i don’t him to be wiped out of my brain. i want to remember. i need to remember… and i can’t.

 

do you remember me? do you wanna forget me? can you feel our last kiss in your lips? i wish i could, cuz you were so wonderful to me, and now your vanishing… like everything else in my life that once was there, and now is gone…