she sleeps peacefully in the bed.

i see her frame rise up and go down slowly and rythmically as she breaths.

she sleeps on her left side, she keeps the courtain half closed to hide her from the fake sun light that comes from it.

every time the alarm sounds she wakes up, but not started, cuz i’m always there to tell her that everything is ok, that i’m or someone else is taking care of it. i used to say it out loud. now i just reassure it to her just by squeezing her hand a little or by kissing her head before leaving for a brief moments.

i wish i could stay aways by her side, but the fact that i made the only confortable bed *her* bed, and since i asked everyone to save the special food left just for her, i think the least i could do is taking more shifts than anyone else.

i can’t complain, i have herat sight all the time. even when someone comes for my medical attention, i can help them staying close.

 

she sleeps peacefully and sometimes she scares me, cuz she’s so silent that i have to check on her breathing to make sure she’s allright. she must have learnt to sleep like this when she was out in the middle of the jungle, afraid of being found by someone or *something* she couldn’t defend herself.

 

she sleeps so much, that as a doctor i know i’ll have to make her move outside tomorrow when i finish my shift… she is resting for what she couldn’t rest in the past two months. i bet she walked in cutted feet through many painfull rocks and dirt and mud.

but i know that she cannot stay this quiet for long. she needs to rest, but also she needs to move, it’s the best for her and for the baby.

 

i see her so quiet that scares me. i wonder where is the active woman that i fell in love with. not that i do not adore the way she seems so calm and safe. but i just wonder, how many days and nights you spent trying to find your way back, fighting to survive, and trying hard not to give up… thanks baby for not giving up.

 

i see you frowning from time to time, it’s like you knew when terrible thoughts creep in my mind, and i rush to hug you tightly so you soften you expression again, a little smile appears and the world shines for me again.

you look for my hand and rest it in your belly, like showing me that the important thing is that we’re now together and that our baby is ok. is going to be ok. is having a beautiful mom and a too-caring dad by his side… her side.

 

i ca’t help falling asleep by her side, even when i wanna spend every second looking at the beautiful face of the woman i love, that i desperately need in my heart, that i would give my life for, and that i rather be dead than loosing her again.