i’ve been kind of emotional this times. yesterday in the afternoon i was notified in the library that i’ve a debt and a book missing (borrowed with my name) i was so pissed. and worried. i took that book like a month ago and i asked a friend to give it back in the night and he never did, or he did but someone stole it in the library… i don’t know, the thing is that i have to pay that stupid book and it’s like too damn expensive… i have no money so i’m fucked up and that brought a lot of desestabilization in my freaking psiquis…… i don’t know what’s wrong with me, why do i loose control so easily? i talked to Hugo and he was too busy, and i felt this childish-need to have him near, to hear some words and he said a lot of pretty things, he was worried, but i wanted to hear other shit and i got all mad and sad because he didn’t say it. But it’s so stupid because hell, i know he doesn’t read my mind… that’s when i wonder why i loose control so easily. whatever, then he reacted not so good, because i took a pill i’m used to take when i got all depressive… and he got pissed and whatever… he called me in the night and he apologized… i should do that too!! he’s a really good man. this morning i still felt like too down, but when i got to work, he had a nice present for me, he put a pretty nice nickname in his msn that made me really happy. ‘HS loves this girl —->’ and put up a picture of me :$ damn i’m in love, but i’m still worried about myself. i don’t know why i’m acting like this, why i can’t control my thoughts… why they keep coming to my mind to depress me and pull me down…