Thanks Hugo for the suggested title So. My life is beautiful LOL. I know yesterday (even this morning) my life sucked. But tonight I feel so good. My bf and I spent the whole afternoon together; We had a great lunch at KFC and McFlurry in McDonals. We did nasty delicious things ;). We also slept like an hour and remembered our childhood. We laughed at the funny things we did when we were kids, we told each other stories about Halloween costumes, scars, oldest memories, etc. we admired our bodies and faces. We smiled at each other with satisfaction, pleasure and joy. We fell in love with each other even more. Then I heard him practice his presentation about Biztalk Server (a kiss for every slide!) So, true facts: I’m deeply in love with this man. My life doesn’t suck, I have reasons to bear and get over all the situations that piss me off. I need Hugo more in my life that I could even imagine. I’m seriously dependant on him. The last fact is the interesting-scary one. Because I can’t let my life get out of control just because I’m not with him, I mean, I’m not trying to say that I don’t need him or that I don’t want to *need* him. It’s just that I must act like a grown up and remain in control because I know he needs his space also I know he has sucha wonderful-full-time work and I know it’s important to him and that I admire a lot, so I know not every day he will be able to spend the whole afternoon with me. I know the 3-days-separated event will occur again sometime and I must really face it better than I just did. I think it’s not completely a psychological thingy, I believe there’s something hormonal in the middle of this tale. But I’m not sure -my doctor told me that I need a prank :S, but I’m not completely sure- but the only way to know it is erasing the psychological trauma, affront the same situation in a no PMS-day and if I get out of control again, then I should stop the birth control thingy and if it persist I’m definitely crazy and hell, I’ll go to the fucking prank. Right now I’m ok. No, I’m perfect, I feel great, I feel in love. Life makes sense again.

i’m feeling terrible. i’m so emotional. i get pissed easyly for no reason. i’m at work, and i try to focus on it and for a fantatic second it works and forget about everything… but then i remember it again…. i’m going to see my doctor, but i don’t want him to tell me ’stop the birth control’ i don’t want to. i don’t know what to do. i wanna cry, i wanna curse everyone.